I’ve been becoming depressed. I’m approaching the two month mark for being here. Yesterday I disabled the majority of my social media accounts and deleted the bookmarks in my browser for most sites that don’t relate to employment. That helped. I rewrote my resume and started on cover letters.  I’ve never actually had to write a cover letter, so I’m full of anxiety about that. Last week was my birthday, which has pushed me into crisis mode. Yikes. Hopefully this jump starts me again.

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Show Me State

Before leaving the Evergreen State, I was reading a book called Garden State by Rick Moody that it was commandeered by my housemate Emma and probably forgotten and lost in my packing frenzy. Though not to be confused with the movie by the same name, both stories revolve around twenty-somethings that return to live with their families in Jersey. Being stuck in limbo whilst living with one’s parents as a twenty-something is a somewhat terrifying situation in which to be. This is where I find myself.

I’ve been in my parents home in Southeast Missouri since July 30th. At first, it was such a relief to be here, as by the end of my time at my previous job I was somewhat of a wreck. July 26th was the longest day of my life. I’m happy to help my family with publicity for their going out of business sale and clearing some space out in the house. But now, things are getting old and I’m getting antsy. I was hoping to have a serious job lead by now.

A long time problem of mine has been a fear to put myself out there. I’m always second guessing myself. Right now I’m seriously stressing about my resume. I need to just adjust it already and apply apply APPLY. I can’t wait to finally be able to move to Cape Girardeau and start a life with a real apartment and real gainful employment.

Jenny